The danger of opening your heart

~ hello to you all !!! i know its been sometime since my last entry. I have been very busy with my social life , business and family.
on that note...i shall begin...

~I have learned the repetitive lesson that once you allow your true self to come out...you are GOING to be hurt. YOU are never going to be good enough for ANYONE. The barbs and insults should just NOT be used on your spouse as you would your sibling or co-worker...THINK before you speak !!!
~ IF i have told you i have a weight issue..hell even if i havent ..do NOT call me Buddha(- a God with a large stomach for those of you who do not know this..ALSO when im giving you my christmas gift i MADE you ..do not call it cheap or that it looked like a rush job

~i know that no one out there is perfect but if someone cannot even show me the same respect as they would a friend or family member...i dont know what the outcome is going to be

Hooked on a feeling

Well after so many horrible first dates, blind dates and failed relationships . I think I have found a man I really like and that likes me. I haven't felt this way in a really long time. Sometimes its a little scary and overwhelming but I am enjoying it. It's been so long since I've been interested in a "good nice guy " , it seemed for a while I was attracted to the drama and craziness of dating a "bad boy " but I wanted and deserved more than being someones second choice or backup. I forgot what it was like to have someone more interested in me , then just when he was " in the mood" or "bored" I know that sounds horrible , if any of my friends treated me like the way some of these guys treated me I would have tossed them to the curb long ago...BUT because as women we are so afraid to be alone we cling on to any attention even if its unhealthy.

~ How nice it is to get little wake up messages, have nick names , hour long phone calls. And going out with each other just to look into each others eyes and be happy.

~ Also business is expanding and to have someone to celebrate with and be happy for me , instead of be jealous is truly remarkable .

A New Autumn

~Howdy ya'll !! Well let's see what has gone on...I am learning to be ever more optimistic and happy about all in my life. I truly understand now when people say " Think positive , and positive things will occur."It is so True
~ I mean think about it ..when did something good happen the last time you felt sorry or depressed for yourself? In a relationship no one wants to date someone constantly bitching and moping about themselves, in business you can not expect for your company to grow when you expect to not make your sales goals or quotas...it happens when you work at it and be positive :-)
~ Now I'm not saying every minute of every day I'm happy and chipper...But over all you need to stay positive..even when you think you have reached bottom because somewhere , someone else has it 10 times worse then you do.

A Night to Remeber

Well hi to you all. I have completed another of the many things I wish to enjoy in my "new" life ..I got to see an amazing performance from the troupe of Cirque Du Soleil!!! I remember watching all the taped performances on the Bravo network(I think that was the channel) when I was a little girl and I thought I would never get to see them : but I did!!! They came to Rochester New York!! Which is a shock in and of itself. Nothing comes to us...we are a waste land. AND yes I spent WAY too much on the tickets and souvenirs...but I look at it like this...2 months ago I didn't know if i was gonna live or die right? So spending a little on myself is more than okay :)

AND I loved every minute of it

ALLLLEEEEGGGRRIIAAA

A whole New Day

Howdy ya'll....
I hope you are all doing fabulous and great. What has gone on lately..hmm..well lets see, I'm still single however that no longer bothers me as much as it used to. I feel the Lord has a plan for all of us. I don't mean to sound like one of those truly obnoxious preachy persons, however I can't help but acknowledge His presence throughout my ordeal.
~What has also come to my knowledge is that I received more well wishes and support from complete strangers than I thought was possible and the people I should have gotten the most from I did not. SO I know now who my "true" friends are and who is not.
~ I also have a brand new outlook on life..gone is the MaryBeth who would let people walk over her and not say anything..gone is the woman who would be so kind to people who turn around and stab me in the back . Those days are truly over, I'm still warm and kind but now more choosy.
~ I also got a new look physically I have lost a total of 35lbs since my journey started months ago, I feel so much more energized and positive. Life is to short to harm ones self for a good time , whether it be from too much food, alcohol or even worse smoking or drugs. And once again I'm not saying i don't like a good bag of Frito's and a glass of wine now and then..lol..

~Today is a new Day :)
Come join me

great news

hi to you all
great news! no cancer yaaayyyyyy

Surgery Over

hi all

i missed you. i have had my surgery its been 2 weeks.in case you don't remember i had a large tumor on my liver the surgeons had to remove 50% of my liver and they also removed the gall bladder because it was in the way. i was in the hospital for about 5 days. I'm recovering quite well....i have a new lease on life. I'm done worrying about the little things and even some of the big things...I'm just so happy to be home and out of that hospital. there are noises of people screaming that i cannot get out of my mind. and my roommate was a trip and a half. her dam cell phone rang ALL night in loud mode...dude show some respect and this was an older lady too not some young chick like me , i had my cell on low ring to be classy...lol..i walked to the end of the block today and i even designed a new purse. good times.....i still cant eat allot hurts to much when the stomach stretches out . i have a Huge incision on my belly and about 26 staples that need to be removed. its been so surreal and i still cannot believe this happened to me . i love life so much its not even funny. and i have such an amazing group of family and friends that have made this traumatic moment all the more bearable. i still do not know if it is cancer yet. and i don't care. ....well i do but i love how I'm feeling right now and I'm not gonna stop living life like this regardless if it is.

thanks god and all of you